I never really noticed this before, but as I was sharing dessert with a newly acquainted friend a few weeks ago, I noticed that we both stopped eating it at the very last bite of our triple berry pie. We both insisted on the other to indulge in the last piece, but it just sat there waiting for the waitress to take it away. At the time, I didn’t see the significance of this but the more I thought about it the more I realized that this wasn’t the first time that I witnessed the last bite go to waste. It wasn’t as if I desperately wanted it, but it just sat there waiting for someone to enjoy it. I’m sure my friend felt the same way. So, why is it that when we are offered the last piece, we usually turn it away?
I knew I was having a deep-sentimental-blog moment, but I just couldn’t figure out what it was. I mean after all, it was just dessert. As I shared my thoughts with a friend, ironically sharing dessert, he made an interesting point – perhaps we approach the last piece of dessert the way we approach life. No matter how big or small, our automatic response is to refuse it. We have been so culturally accustomed to being applauded for “giving” that we find ourselves giving too much to the point that the enjoyment is lost for everyone. If it isn’t you, then it should be someone else that takes advantage of what is in front of them. Who cares what other people think – it is you that has to live the consequences. You can take the risk now and dwell on any regret later. It is the “now” that we should be living. Later should not be an option.
Maybe that was my epiphany that rainy night. I need to start living in the now, and stop letting opportunities in front of me pass me by. I should really enjoy every last piece, or better yet I shouldn’t take a no for an answer and encourage the other person to enjoy it all the way through. I mean, someone has to succeed through a promotion, take the gamble on true love, and see every life opportunity through the very end. Why not let it be you? This is what distinguishes ordinary from extraordinary. So go on, take the last bite because if you don’t… from now on, I will.
Okay, I’ll admit it. I have a problem, and yes it is pretty serious. I have no intentions of getting help nor do I have any plans of stopping anytime soon. But, before you judge me, make sure your conscience is clear. It probably isn’t, so I’ll continue with my confession…
Everyone has a secret. Whether it is an addiction, obsession, or a weakness – everyone has one. You might not even realize you are hiding one until it is exposed or confronted. It doesn’t have to be anything life threatening or anything extreme. It can be something as simple as – a new crush, still stuck on an ex, a weakness for food, relationship obsessed, or an addiction to reality shows. Whatever it is – we all have at least one. I came across this interesting website a few years ago, and it got me thinking about some of my confessions. One thought led to another and I came to the conclusion that we secretly want “someone” to know our secrets, except we become selective on who that lucky someone will be. Some people settle with psychiatrists, others rely on their “best” friends, or some people start blogs for the entire world to see. Ironic isn’t it? Anyway, I think this is why this website got so popular… it started out as a social project and now it has become therapy to hundreds of people around the world. The Secret Postcards. – Check it out!
Confessions feel good because you secretly wanted to tell someone in the first place. You hide secrets and hope no one finds out but you jump on the first opportunity to tell someone when you are certain that you won’t be judged. I think in a lot of ways judgment is what nurtures our secrets to become unbearable. You keep your darkest secrets to yourself because you fear ridicule, rejection, and judgment. Perhaps that is why people turn to religion, journals, or hobbies to mask or tolerate their dire need to tell someone. Maybe we should stop judging our friends, family members, or co-workers. After all, you might have the same obsession, secret, or addiction, except the difference is you don’t have the confidence and self-assurance to confess it. Don’t judge because that’s what makes people run… and running makes me people tired and exhausted.
As for my confession, I’m a chocolate addict. I can’t keep chocolate around the house because it’ll be gone after breakfast. I don’t have self control when it comes to chocolate, so I run 30 minutes more just so I can enjoy some sort of chocolate treat, or basically fuel my chocolate addiction. Just last night I bought a bag of assorted Godiva Gems – they are already gone. I try to justify this behavior by reading health articles on why chocolate is good for you – it increases a hormone that mimics the feeling of falling love, dark chocolate is an antioxidant, etc. But the bottom line is – I rarely like to share it, moderation is not enough, my meals feel incomplete without chocolate dessert, and I feel content as long as I get my chocolate fix in a few times a week. But again, before you judge me, make sure your conscience is clear. What’s your secret?
I was on the phone with one of my best friends (MP) from college the other day when she told me that it was wine night with her roommates. Instantly, I was envious but not about the wine. If it was about drinking wine I could have went to the store and bought a bottle myself. It was about what “wine” symbolized to me and I craved to be a part of it. You see, wine is shared among friends, between lovers, and with co-workers. It is served at weddings, dinner parties, and social events. You open one bottle of wine and it becomes the focal bonding point for the rest of the evening. We can agree to disagree, but I think wine symbolizes vulnerability, intimacy, and relaxation. I’ll use some examples. When you are hosting a Super Bowl Party what beverages do you provide your guests? Beer. When you are practicing your Zumba moves at a club what do you order at the bar? Cranberry Vodka with a splash of Sprite. When you are celebrating a promotion what do you cheers? Champagne. And, when you are at a brunch with your family what do you expect? Mimosas. The examples are endless, but basically the drink depends on the mood you are trying to capture. So, all I’m saying is wine is a universal sophisticated beverage of choice among women. You drink it when you feel sexy. You drink a glass when you feel romantic. And, you down a few glasses when you feel lonely. But above all, when you open a bottle of wine with friends everyone receives a VIP pass to pry into the other person’s life. I suppose you could think of it as an unwritten rule of wine drinking. Whatever it is, I crave it. Choosing between red and white, holding the stem of the wine glass, pouring the wine bottle at an angle, and above all sharing the moment with a close, dear friend. I crave it all…